I’m in the wrong place.
It’s a knock deep inside you. You can almost feel its pulse.
You’ve set a goal and things are not working out. Maybe it is time to quit.
It is called fear. I’ve spent so much time trying to find fear. If I could just find the root, I could pull it up! End of problem.
It doesn’t have a root. In fact, it doesn’t even have a face. It sits nowhere and is everywhere.
I have a little fear meter test when working with goals. Decide to do something new. How easy was that? Could you feel a location in the body that was impacted by your thoughts? Did you come up with something to do? How long did you take to identify something to do? When you were choosing through your options, what were the reasons for tossing out an item?
My little fear meter test helps me understand how big a problem fear is becoming with my goal. Goals are never easy to attain. Some are harder than others. When goals get harder to attain, the fear meter starts to really jump off the charts.
Take a minute to pick up the things you were tossing out. Give them a good look over. Did fear play any part in your decision?
Something so all-pervasive must be pretty important. I do Chinese Medicine. Why is fear so darn important from a Chinese Medical perspective, and how can I use Classical Wisdom to wrangle the best out of fear?
Fear is important. Fear is related to the kidney channel which controls our self-identity and how we physically manifest in this world. It takes the yang energies of heaven and the yin energies of earth. In the simplest context this would be sperm and egg and combines these energies to manifest a unique human being…you. The kidney energy is the seed from which our whole life will emerge and grow. To learn more about the kidney channel in Chinese Medicine click
Ah, well then, the emotions of the kidney channel must be related to our survival. Well it is. Fear identifies potential dangers which could impact our survival.
Things that impact my survival are good things to be afraid of. Except, there are very few threats to my physical survival. No, the threats I identify are threats to my identity or my perception of myself. These perceived threats kick off my own internal self-chatter.
Ugh! The absolute worse…having to face yourself. The external noise is just a trigger to aid your little internal voice and allow it to spew out all the self-criticism necessary to stop you dead in your tracks. And when does my voice become loudest? When I’m running into blocks with something I want to accomplish.
If I could only remember the only person who can stop me is me. Especially when trying to attain a new goal.
O.k., so lets say I’ve done my fear meter, and I’m realizing that fear is becoming a big player in my internal dialogue. I’m afraid…I’m afraid I won’t be able to succeed, I’m afraid of judgement, I’m afraid what I’m doing won’t work, I’m afraid of the financial impacts, I’m afraid my family counts on me, I’m afraid to meet new people.
One of the things I do is I keep inspirational quotes around me. There are 1,000’s of inspirational quotes for you when fear gets to the point that forward progress is hindered. If you’re thinking of quitting, “Quitters never win!” Bam! Awesome quote. “Yeah, you’re right,” I’ld think to myself.
The one I’m using now is, “If it doesn’t open, it’s not your door.”
There are thousands of doors to get to your goal. This isn’t about quitting. This is about opening more doors. This is about pushing open more doors. Kick down a few doors. This is about turning every handle until you find the one that turns for you.
Awesome. But, I still need to keep my internal chatter under control. Take a few lessons from Chinese Medicine to help you keep your focus and help keep your mental attitude up when things seem down.
- Support the kidney channel. The stronger the channel, the less the fear. Root vegetables are fantastic support for the kidneys. Check out my liver detox juice for winter on Youtube. Not only does it help cleanse the liver, it helps support the kidneys.
- Take a walk around water or under open skies to help release the nagging sensation of fear. To learn more about how to use nature to help balance your emotions check out my book on Amazon:
- Kindness, the kidney channel responds favorably to self-kindness. One way to be kind to fear is to take a minute to slow down. This can be especially hard when your internal chatter is saying, but my family is counting on me. Slowing down is not stopping. Slowing down is giving yourself time to see what is around you. Slowing down is giving yourself time to see the other doors around you. Put down whatever is causing the fear and pick up something less daunting. Read a short book on how someone else solved a similar problem.
- Reenergize yourself. You can’t do anything when you’re exhausted – mentally or physically. I have a tendency to focus on one solution and one door when I’m exhausted. So, I take a day or two to something I really like to do. It unplugs you and picks up your energy.
I don’t know that we are going to get around fear. But, I do know I don’t like the emotion and learning to manage the emotional energetics of fear has kept me going when my goals seemed so far out of reach.