How are you handling the pandemic? We are four short months into social distancing and isolation. Some of us are coming to a new realization. The pandemic is going to go on for a while.
It’s bringing about a new type of mental health that feels more like resilence. I’m still walking the one foot in front of the other mode and just pushing on. But, I’m also seeing I may be doing this one foot in front of the other thing for a long time.
Unlike a hurricane or tornado, you can’t see this natural disaster, and it doesn’t have a timeline. If you sat down and looked into the future to figure out when this will be over, you don’t know. These two things, the lack of a tangible, visible force, and the uncertain timelines make this disaster unique.
Your daily life has changed. It’s not about wondering what the new normal is going to be. I use to sit and think this will be kind of over, and there will be some things that will have to change in my life, but we’ll all work together and figure out what the new normal is.
I just started realizing that it is not going to happen. A leader is not going to be allowed to rise and unify us at this time. A leader is not going to help us find this “new normal” that was the social media hype a couple of weeks ago. I just started realizing that we are on our own.
We will have to be our own grassroots effort of the new normal for ourselves and the world. And the new normal is this. It is precisely what we are experiencing.
I haven’t been to a war-torn nation. Yet, I’m thinking they have some pretty good ideas on how they survive and thrive in chaos. Here are some of my thoughts.
You can only do that hardcore push of one foot in front of the other for a limited time. A few months, maybe a year, and you start to show signs of breaking.
Two years ago, my role as a caregiver for my mother and support for my sister came to an end. My caregiver role was very challenging, with no breaks. The stress for my husband and I was crushing, and by the time it was over, I had run myself so thin with worry, trying to accomplish 4x’s more than I could, sinking in fear knowing they would pass any day, and every other emotion you can imagine there was nothing left.
I wrote a book on my journey and how I handled the emotional stress, the surprise emotions I didn’t know were coming, the letdowns, and every other emotion that comes in tidal waves for caregivers. You can find my book on Amazon. The book shares Taoist perspectives that helped me find balance amid chaos.
Afterward, this pandemic thing happened, and it brought back all the emotions I experienced as a caregiver. For those of you in a caregiver role today, my heart goes out to you. In a situation already overwhelming, this can tip you over the edge.
I’m going to share a couple of things I’m doing to help me stay on track and cope.
First, you have to give time to yourself for your spirituality. Stress is a formidable foe. Stress puts so much pressure on you, and you spend time pushing back. It gets too exhausting to push back, and all you want to do is curl up in a ball and try to forget; or, keep pushing yourself to stay distracted.
When you start to experience this, don’t give up. This is the time you need to take a few minutes and focus on your spirituality. Whatever your spirituality is, get it and focus on it.
This morning I was doing great until I read the news and did social media. I know that every day is going to step up the crazy. I know that each day is going to bring something more unbelievable than the day before. I know that each day will threaten my safety and security, and these threats will challenge my position on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
The things that happened this morning were just so surprising. They dropped me right back down to the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy.
I started distracting myself. I started working on insurance and other things in the office, and the anxiety started creeping up. Then I stopped. I realized it didn’t matter. Everything was going to still be here in a half-hour. I put everything down and went and did my spirituality for a half hour.
It got me back in balance just before my first client came in for the day. It got me back in balance just in time because every one of my clients is having similar thoughts.
So, give time to your spirituality. The stress is going to continue to ramp up over the next few months. Don’t let it own your life. Don’t let it dictate who you are going to be. The best way you can do that is by spending time with your spirituality once a day. Maybe you want to spend five minutes reading verses or doing deep breathing. It can be longer. Just do it every day.
The next thing that has helped me and the world is a random act of kindness. Say hi to the people you meet on the street or in the stores. Wave to people. Help someone with their groceries. Support local businesses.
Thirdly, practice being accepting of others. It’s hard to see other points of view right now. I was reading an article on the medieval plague of the 1300s. They talked about how people handled the situation. There were two camps. Some people quarantined in small family groups, and some people went on the pursuit of pleasure and satisfaction of their desires.
This duality of response has always existed. In Chinese medicine, it is the energetics of yin and yang. These two polarities are needed to create life and movement in the world. They state that everything starts in the dao, and to materialize, energy is required to create life. The opposition of yin and yang, the pulling force of these two opposites, creates the energy that establishes life.
Try to realize different views are typical. They have always been here. In general, democracy is based on the importance of different opinions. When I read the article on the medieval plague, it hit home for me. What we are experiencing is not new.
It would just be nice if we weren’t at opposites. There is so much more pressure and force when in strong opposition. It would be nice if we could find some middle ground to help diffuse some of the intensity today.
The last thing I want to share is my intentions. Each morning I am stating one intention for the day. Just one thought based on mindfulness or Taoism that could help me create a better day for myself. If one hits home for me, I may make it my intention for multiple days.
Today, I remind myself to be grateful. I look around my life and identify why I am thankful. I only meant to identify three things. But I thought I would take one minute and identify reasons I am grateful.
This is part of the last part of learning to live the new normal. Our lives had become so rich and full, that the simple things in life were lost. They weren’t good enough. I’ve watched people think they need a 3,000 or 4,000-foot house, the latest car, the new technology, clothes, and any other thing their heart may desire. I’ve watched them forget about their children and their spouse. In a matter of four short months, all of that was taken away from us. Over the next four months, more will be taken away.
Did you ever hear the statement, “No use crying over spilled milk?” I did growing up. Every time I whined for some material thing that I had lost, I would hear this statement. I think the new normal has ideas of simplicity. The new normal is reawakening our attachment to our families and our community. The new normal is being grateful you and your family are alive. The new normal is forgetting about impressing neighbors and friends with new stuff. The new normal is wiping up the spilled milk and deciding if you can find joy in the simple things in life.
Today, I intend to remind myself to be grateful.
I am grateful that I live in a small town that has low transmission of COVID-19.
I am grateful no one I know has been scarred or lost their life to COVID-19.
I am grateful my husband and I are healthy.
I am grateful I can run my business have strong support from my clients.
I am grateful this morning was a beautiful morning.
I am very grateful I have health insurance.
I am grateful that I can find places to walk in nature where I don’t run into other people.
I am grateful I have the internet.
I am grateful the small business owners I know are still solvent.
I am grateful all my clients are healthy.
I am grateful that I have a spiritual practice that helps me see the light in times of darkness.