Self-esteem is how you value and perceive yourself. It’s how you think and feel about yourself which affects your daily life. Many people struggle with feeling not good enough. You may constantly compare yourself to others, put yourself down, or have negative thoughts about yourself leading to a lack of confidence, low mood, and feeling stuck.
It’s important to understand that feeling not good enough is a common issue, and it’s not something to be ashamed of. It’s not a reflection of who you are as a person but rather a result of past experiences, societal and cultural influences, and negative self-talk. All that input from the external world can be overwhelming and hard to shake off.
The societal and social media pressures are mind-bending. The unrealistic standards for beauty, success, and happiness leave individuals never good enough. Social media amplifies these societal pressures, as people are constantly exposed to carefully curated images and highlight reels of others’ lives, which can make them feel inadequate in comparison. Here are some thoughts on social media.
Then you think about childhood experiences and the significant impact that time has on your self-esteem and self-worth. It would be unusual to be able to avoid feelings of not being good enough.Â
So, what can you do?
CHALLENGING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Challenging negative thoughts and beliefs is a great way to boost your self-esteem when you’re feeling not good enough. You have to identify those negative thoughts. Sometimes it’s not totally obvious because you have been living with these thoughts for so long. That means you could find yourself on a mission to find those negative thoughts!
A great strategy is to use cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques, like “thought-catching” and “thought-reframing .” This is where you become the ultimate thought-catcher, identifying those negative thoughts as they pop into your head and then questioning their validity. For example, if you have the thought, “I’m not good enough,” or “I can’t do that,” you can ask yourself if there is any evidence to support that thought. If not, you can reframe the thought to something more positive and realistic, such as “I am good enough and capable of achieving my goals.” Here is some thoughts from Taoism.Â
Another great strategy is to practice mindfulness, which is like taking a mental vacation. You become more aware of your thoughts and emotions, and learn to observe them without judgment. This can help you to step back from your negative thoughts and not engage with them.
It’s also important to recognize that negative thoughts and beliefs are often based on past experiences and may not reflect the current reality. So, challenge these beliefs by facing them and exploring how they may have originated. It can feel like exploring an old haunted house, where you learn to understand where those ghosts came from and how they may not be true anymore.
HOW TO FIND POSITIVE PEOPLE
Surrounding yourself with supportive people is a powerful way to overcome not feeling good enough. You create a team of cheerleaders in your corner where you each learn how to support each other by cheering and supporting each others’ worth. Having a strong support system can provide encouragement, validation, and a sense of belonging, which are all essential for building self-esteem.
It can be challenging to find supportive people in your life. Sometimes it may feel like everyone around you is negative and critical, making it hard to maintain healthy self-esteem. But it’s important to remember that finding supportive people is a process, and it takes time and effort.
One way to find supportive people is to put yourself out there and be open to meeting new people. Joining clubs, groups, or organizations that align with your interests can be a great way to meet like-minded individuals working towards improving themselves.Â
HOW SELF-CARE CAN HELP YOU WITH NOT FEELING GOOD ENOUGH
Feeling not good enough can be a difficult and overwhelming experience, but incorporating a lighthearted approach into self-compassion and self-care practices can help to alleviate these feelings and improve one’s self-esteem.
And practicing a lighthearted approach can be a good start because sometimes it’s about becoming quiet enough to hear how you treat yourself so you can give yourself room to change. Â
Change isn’t always easy. And practicing self-compassion and self-care can be difficult, especially if you have individuals around you who project their experiences and emotions onto you instead of seeing your actions as unique to you.Â
So, instead of focusing self-care on time-honored ideas like mindfulness or yoga, focus on what makes you feel good. If being around pets makes you feel good, do that. Maybe you like doing things with your friends. Find creative things you can do that will nurture you while feeding your need for friendships. Make a spa day with friends. Or go for a dinner out.Â
If you don’t want to spend money, think about all the free things you can do with friends. Getting together as a group to go bike riding or bird watching can be an option. Gathering at someone’s house to watch t.v. or play games can get you around friends and activities.Â
The thing is, many people spend a lot of time doing things they don’t want to do because they have to pay bills, ensure they have clean clothes, ensure they are eating. Self-care is about being you and doing those things that make you happy. So, don’t go for the canned self-care activities that may not work for you. Think about what you like and find a group with which to do that.
Feeling “not good enough” can be a common and difficult feeling to deal with, but it is possible to overcome it. By focusing on building self-esteem, practicing self-compassion, challenging negative thoughts and beliefs, surrounding yourself with supportive people, practicing mindfulness, and engaging in activities that bring you joy, you can improve your self-worth.Â
Remember that it’s a journey and it takes time, but with consistency and patience, you can overcome feelings of not being good enough. So, don’t let fear hold you back. Take the risk and move forward. Trust in yourself and your abilities, and remember that you are worthy and capable of achieving your goals.
Kim Blaufuss is a formally trained Classical Chinese Medical Provider and Taoist practitioner.
Her unique approach combines Eastern and Western Science to provide a comprehensive and transformative emotional healing experience. By working with her, you can gain access to her extensive knowledge and expertise and benefit from her personalized and compassionate approach to healing.
Kim Blaufuss’ teachings can help you develop a deeper understanding of yourself, cultivate inner peace and joy, and promote healing at a fundamental level. Her work has helped countless individuals achieve their spiritual and emotional goals, and by working with her, you, too, can experience the transformative power of her teachings. If you’re looking for a spiritual and emotional healer who can guide you toward greater well-being and fulfillment, then Kim is the perfect choice. Set-up your private work session today.